More Than I Can Bear

Some people carry extremely heavy burdens. All of humanity shares in the cup of sorrow (Job 14:1), but it seems that some have a cup that overflows with trouble. I dare not repeat the mistake of Job's friends and try to explain or pretend to identify with the suffering that you may be enduring. Job's friends were helpful when they simply sat with Job and experienced his suffering with him (J0b 2:11, 13). It was when they tried to give trite statements and explanations for Job's pain that they became "miserable comforters" (Job 16:2; 42:8). Sometimes the best comfort we can offer those who are hurting is the powerful language of our silent presence.

Perhaps a passage of Scripture that is too quickly quoted to aid those who are hurting is 1 Corinthians 10:13. Here we are promised that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond our ability to endure it. We often will tell people, "God will not put more on you than you can bear." Although used with the best intentions, this type of language is misleading and hurtful. God does not tempt anyone (James 1:13). Yet, God does allow Satan to tempt us (cf. Job 1:12; 2:6). Satan's suffering is sometimes utilized by God to prove, refine, try and strengthen our faith (James 1:2-4; Malachi 3:3). God will not allow Satan to place more upon us (by way of temptation) than we are capable of bearing.

This is all theologically true. But in the messiness of life, these words often bring little comfort. Why? Because when you are experiencing severe suffering it often feels like you are at your breaking point! It often feels like that you have more than you can bear!

Rather than offering theological explanations like Job's misguided friends, it would be far better to empathize and try and "sit with the sufferer." In these hours of grief, maybe it would be better to turn to 2 Corinthians 1:8-11, "For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death." Paul explains what he knew theologically in 1 Corinthians 10:13, but he tells of what he felt experientially in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9. Paul felt like he was "burdened beyond his strength" and he even "despaired of life itself." If it was okay for Paul to feel this way, it is okay for you to feel this way too.

Like Job, Paul's faith shone through the darkness of his despair. He chose to view his suffering from the perspective of learning more reliance upon God. Paul continues, "But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again" (2 Corinthians 1:9-10). And then Paul makes a simple request from his friends and Christian family, "You also must help us by prayer…" (2 Cor. 1:11).

There are hurting people all around us. They are in our families, in our neighborhoods, and in this congregation. The next time someone says they feel like they have more than they can bear, don't try and convince them otherwise. Instead just sit and listen and then ask, "Can we pray about it?" Don't try and explain away their load, instead help them bear it.