Foundational Doctrines: Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage

Divorce and remarriage is a very sensitive issue in the church today. Yet Jesus gives very specific instructions on the topic. Will we accept the seemingly “hard sayings” of Jesus and continue following him, or will we turn away (cf. John 6:60-69; Matt. 10:34-39)?

1. God intends for marriage to be a lifetime arrangement; He hates divorce. God’s original intention was for marriage to be between a man and a woman (Matt. 19:4). Leaving the families of their birth, a man and a woman are united together to form a family of their own in marriage (Matt. 19:5). This union is sealed by God and is not to be broken by man (Matt. 19:6). From the time of God’s original design in the beginning, mankind abused marriage and an epidemic of divorce (for any cause) began. Therefore, because men’s hearts were hard, God tried to get a handle on the epidemic by regulating man’s action with a “divorce law” (Matt. 19:7-8a). But this was never God’s original intent or design (Matt. 19:8b). God “hates divorce” (Mal. 2:16, NASB), because he intends for marriage to be a lifetime covenant between a man and a woman (Mal. 2:14; 1 Cor. 7:39; Rom. 7:2-3).

2. There is only one reason God will accept for divorce and then remarriage—sexual unfaithfulness. In his teaching, Jesus restores God’s original intention for marriage. Jesus teaching applies to all of humanity (“whoever” –Matt. 19:9), tracing its authority with God’s original purpose for marriage (cf. Mk. 10:11-12). If you divorce your spouse for any reason, except sexual immorality, a remarriage to another person constitutes the continual sin of adultery before God (Matt. 19:9). In addition, anyone who marries a person who has been divorced without this cause, is guilty of the on-going sin of adultery (Matt. 5:32).

3. When divorce occurs because of sexual unfaithfulness, only the innocent party may remarry without sin. Jesus gives an exception whereby a person might divorce their spouse and remarry another person without sin. This exception is “sexual immorality” (Matt. 19:9, ESV). This word is porneia in the original language and is a general word for sexual sin including adultery, fornication, homosexuality, or any type of illicit sexual intercourse outside of the marriage bond. In the event that such sexual unfaithfulness occurs, the offended individual has the right to divorce for this reason and subsequently remarry. Yet, even then forgiveness and restoration of the marriage (though not required) would be preferable, if possible.

4. If a divorced person (unscriptural) obtains another “legal marriage,” God views such an arrangement as continual adultery. According to Jesus teaching, the person divorced for sexual sin does not have a right to remarry. Yet, often this occurs in our society. If a person obtains a legal marriage contract without scriptural grounds, God does not view this as a true marriage but rather calls it the continuing act of “adultery” (Matt. 19:9). Also, the common occurrence of “no fault” divorce in our society means that neither party would have the God-given right to remarry.

5. Sometimes marital separation is necessary for other reasons (i.e. spousal abuse), but remarriage is not an option. There are situations where couples need to separate from one another. Such instances would include spousal abuse. In such instances Scripture indicates that a separation (divorce) is possible (1 Cor. 7:10-16). But remarriage is not an option if sexual sin (as the cause for the divorce) is not involved.

6. Some people must live celibate lives for the sake of the kingdom. In our divorce saturated culture, Jesus teaching on divorce and remarriage sounds very strict (cf. Matt. 19:10). Relationship with God is more important than marriage and some may have to live celibate lives for the sake of the kingdom (Matt. 19:12; 10:37; Ezra 10:1-5).